If you guys see me smiling around school, chances are I'm just acting.
I feel like crap. I feel worthless. I feel that I shouldn't keep going. It would be so easy to just disappear and leave everyone alone. I just feel so hurt. So . . . I don't know. Ugh. I guess it's just one of those moments. And I know that after I cry a lot I will get over it.
I have so many feelings just bottled up inside me and I am really ready to burst. It's so hard to just control myself and not cry in the middle of class.
I don't even understand why I feel this way.
And on top of all these emotions and whatnot I have a bunch of homework and responsibilities! People say being a senior is easy but I truly don't think so! Or maybe it's just me doing too fucking much! I don't need all this! For real! But quitting now will all be just a waste of time and effort!
I'm glad I will be graduating with 62 high school credits and with an Academic Honors Diploma but it's so hard!
Right now I am even considering whether or not I should do the musical! I really want to because it will be my last musical! And I want to be there when the seniors say good-bye! With me being one of them! Ugh. I hate this!
I'm going to take a shower and going to cry in there. My excuse for red eyes: soap got in my eyes.
1 comment:
awww, Erick, I wish I knew how to make it easier on you.. I really do... but I don't.. I actually have a pretty easy senior year... it is because you do so much, and you're such a high achiever.. I haven't been to school much because I've actually been really, really sick.. and my schedule is all messed up, and I keep changing it. I hope to see you soon, I miss you <3
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